I read 100 self-help books. These 3 changed my life

I read hundreds of books over the last ten years, but only a few of them. actually change the way that I live and work forever. If I could have my younger self just three books that changed my life, it would be these, you see. Ideas are powerful, and the reason why books could change. your life is because they don't just give you information. They change how you think. And once you see the world differently, everything changes. The strange thing is, each of these books found me right. when I needed them the most, and in ways that I could never predicted.

And I can't wait to tell you my story. Before we get to the first book, I made a free guide this video to help you apply where you're going to learn. Just comment books below and I'll send you the link. All right, let's get started with the first one. The Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday. This is the first chapter in my life and how I redefine my challenges. So let's be honest. Challenges are part of everyday life. Maybe you're even going through some challenges right now in your own life. So for some people, is struggling to find a job or dealing with discrimination. For some, it's money running out and you don't know how to pay your bills.

next month. For some, is this creative block that makes you doubt your own talent. And thinking to yourself, can I actually do this? Or burning out from having too much to do? Or it could be that you're stuck. in a bad relationship, or toxic people that are just making you really miserable. Or maybe your business is not bringing in as much customers as it should be. to stay in business. The point is that each one of us, we have our own version of heart, and we're all going through one challenge or another in our own lives.

every single day. And you know that feeling of all this frustration and fear. and that voice inside asking yourself, why me? I've been there. So when I first started my first business, things looked really exciting. from the outside. Everyone assumed that I'm now the boss of my life. It must be so nice. But behind the scenes I was completely overwhelmed. I had just left a very high paying job. Stepping this unknown world of becoming a founder.

and then stepping onto a roller coaster ride. I'll be an entrepreneur. To go from something so safe and routine, to having no structure in your time. or day, and definitely no guarantee of a paycheck at the end of the month. Leaning into this idea that I could somehow build a business. that line my values and me the freedom to pursue what I love. And the truth was, deep down, I was absolutely terrified. There were months when nothing seemed to work, like struggling to start a new clients. While seeing this status updates from my friends.

saying that they just made partner other company and feeling. like everyone else got it all figured out except me. And every rejection made me feel like it was a personal thing, or made me question if I made this huge mistake. and just thrown away. my Ivy League education to pursue something. that was nothing more than just a daydream? I really felt like. the world was constantly saying to me, you're just not cut out for this, Laurie. And then one night I was sifting through a pile of unread books on my bookshelf. I picked up The Obstacle Is the Way by Ryan Holiday.

It was for dusty, but I wiped the dust off and I flip through the pages. And there were those words that. completely shifted how I see everything from that point on forever. And he said, we forget in life it doesn't matter what happens. or where you came from. It matters what you do with what happens and what you've been given. The obstacle in the path becomes the path. Never forget within. Every obstacle is an opportunity to improve our condition. So my first read that line, I remember closing the book.

and I just sat there for a while. It hit me that I've been spending so much time fighting my challenges. When I was wishing that things were easier. Waiting for that clarity to come to me, and then comparing myself to everyone else. around me instead of asking what this moment was trying to teach me. I mean, it sounds so simple, doesn't it? But that change in your perspective can change everything else, because what Ryan Holiday was saying, and what the Stoics.

had been teaching for thousands of years since ancient. Greece, is that you can't control what happens, but you can always control how you see it and how you respond. So I started to apply it to what I do every day on challenges and setbacks. Things are on. Struggling with and teaching this eventually. Now to my daughter as she's grown up and as any could. do, struggling with learning new things in her own life. And every time something went wrong when a client backed out,

a product launch didn't go as well as I wanted. Or maybe my plans completely fell apart. I always ask myself this one question what can I learn from this? And then each one of these issues or challenges, it became my best teacher. I started to learn from those feedbacks and then I improved on what I was doing. So each day, instead of comparing to everyone else, I was just getting that 1% better. That tiny 1%. And it made me so much more resourceful than I ever would have been. by using only what I had, not what I wish I had.

And maybe that's the real meaning behind The Obstacle Is the way. it's not about pretending pain doesn't exist in this world, or putting on this fake optimism that doesn't really help you. I realize that it's about setting the challenges. Aren't things that you should avoid in your path in life. They are the path. If anything, they make you navigate your life and work so much better. They are how you grow, how you toughen up, how you learn, what truly matters. And Ryan Holladay shared this in the book that there are three simple disciplines.

anyone can adapt to obstacles and challenges in your way. And these are the ones I still live by today. So the first one is perception. The way that you choose to see the problem. And I love this quote that hits home. Remember that this moment is not your life, is just a moment in your life. Focus on what is in front of you right now. Ignore what it represents well, what it means or why happened to you. And the second one is action.

This courage to take the next step, no matter how small. And I always said that you don't need to know every step, just the next one. And that's all you need to move forward in your life. And this last one is called Will. That's the strength to push on when results take a lot longer than expected. And really this last point for me taps into patience, something that is so rare now in the world that expects instant overnight success. So those three ideas became the backbone of my own mindset. And this list the next chapter on my life.

And that is starting with why we're discovering my own purpose. And this is the book by Simon Sinek. Because back then I faced a different problem. I had no direction. I left my corporate job after years of following direction, while others are building or aligning with the goals of my boss, my team and the company that was giving me my monthly paycheck. And for the very first time after leaving my job, I was building something on my own. But the question I kept looping my mind was, when am I really doing this for?

I was, for the lack of a better word, lost, and I felt like. I needed to find my purpose. So that's what I picked up. Start with Why by Simon Sinek. I used to think that this book was just for the corporate world, who needed to find their why, like the likes of Apple, but the concepts are just as useful for individuals like you and me. So after reading this book, it hit me that I've been living by what. and how my whole life up to that point, but never really by the why. So Simon Sinek explains something he calls the Golden Circle.

And at the center is your Y, your purpose, your greater cause or belief. And then comes to how which is your process, the way that you bring that wine to life. And finally, which is the what and what is your product, your service, the result that you can bring to the table. And really, most people live. and lead from the outside and they start with what they do. and then how they do it, and then just stop right there. But I realized people who are living with true direction.

and purpose, they start from the inside out. And the reason that it matters is so simple that I couldn't believe I didn't. think about this earlier, and that is that people don't buy what you do. They buy why you do it. And that was a huge revelation for me. So I wasn't just teaching. Well, I know when my clients. After leaving my job at Google, my real why was helping people become remarkable. themselves and this was part of my DNA going back as far back as I can remember. What about building a strong personal online brand or getting more customers.

to the door, becoming more productive to make time for what matters in their lives, or even understanding what is their true purpose in their working life. So I was helping them create meaningful work. without losing themselves in the process. And once I understood that every decision from what content I made. to what project I said yes to, it became so much easier for me. I was no longer this lost or stuck in terms of where I'm going. And I also learn about what Simon Sinek calls the splits.

And this happens when we forget or why, when we get so caught up. chasing vanity metrics like how I looked on social media, comparing myself to others when everyone is on their own path, and very specific season of life, or having goals that did not align. the life that I'm building, it took me a lot of work and self-discovery to finally realize. what I wanted in my ideal life, and doing that by design. And most importantly, why I didn't want were chasing this external validation. What other people think of us that we lose sight of the purpose.

that started everything. And I realized when I finished this book, that was me at that point in time. So I drifted into just doing, producing and achieving. And finally I remembered to take pause, to take it all in and to remember why I began doing all of this. So this book really helped me to come back home to my real purpose. Because when you're. y super clear, even the hardest work will feel really meaningful again. And honestly, one thing I learned over the years is that books like these,

they are meant to just inspire you. They're meant to change you. But that only happens. if you take time to reflect on what you read and actually apply it. And one thing that's really helped me to do that is short form. Who's kindly sponsoring this video compared to other summary apps I've used. Shortform goes way beyond just summaries of the book. They include chapter breakdowns, analysis, and even exercises. They help me put the ideas into practice. If you follow this channel long enough, you know that I love it.

when my audience take action instead of just passively learning. So why learn from start with why help me to get even more clear. about my purpose and connected to the work that I do today. And their obstacle is the way. analysis on short form includes practical reflections on how they handle. setbacks through stalled thinking, which kind of got me to stoicism. So if you love learning but don't always have the time. to finish every book, Short Form lets you learn the key ideas. from thousands of books, podcasts, and even articles. And if you ever short on time like me, I even listen to audio guides on the go.

And the good news is, my audience on this channel gets a free trial and three month. free on the annual plan. When you saw that a short form.com/laurie, check it out in the link. in the description below. So this next chapter of my life is really kind of state that I'm in right now. This third book didn't just change how I think. It changed how I live and made the most of the time that I've left in. my lifetime is called die with Zero by Bill Perkins. And the idea here is very radical, but rather refreshing and freeing.

so many ways. And the quota I now have written on the post-it. that pulled my fridge to remind myself this every day is the goal isn't to die. Rich is to die with a life rich experiences. And most of us, we are taught to save thus and plan for the future. That's something I'm always grateful for, that I was able to learn. this in my life up to this point, which is such a good foundation. But somewhere along the way, we and myself forgot to live in the now. and Bill courses that experience dividends.

So you don't just get joy from the experience itself, you get it again and again through the memory it creates. So for me, I think this doesn't have to be flashy or super expensive trips or vacations. Some of my favorite experience dividends came from the time. I deliberately carved out time by hiring help in my org to skill I do, but most importantly, to help buy back time to build memories. In the early years of my daughter's life, the trips to the aquarium.

where she marveled over every single fish for the very first time, or picking her up from school despite myself. having a really busy day and seeing her happy little face. Tell me in the classroom, because mommy was there. And to me, the value of those memories as bills. That is so well in the book, it compounds over time. Just like interest and your definition of your experience. Dividend can be so different to mine and so's everyone else's. But because in the book, Bill Perkins shared this time bucket framework,

that really helped me to divide my life into decades. and deciding which experience belonged to each. Because there are things that your 25 year old self can do that. your 65 year old self might be able to do, or might find it a bit tricky. So, for example, I could take a gap year now and go study abroad. like I did in my early 20s. But it's so much more harder now when I have a family to after and kids. who need my help, but in this season of my life are making time for creative hobbies. I'm learning new skills like vibe coding or watching my kid growing up into a happy.

and kind person and spending time my parents, who are coming up to their 70s. and making the most the memories and the time that's left with them. So if you were to plan out your time, that's lot. How would you feel this bucket out and think about. what are you going to put in those time buckets in this season of life? So the one thing I took away from this book. is that don't wait until retirement to travel to that dream destination, to spend time with loved ones, or pursue hobbies that you're passionate about.

Because every deck of the life has its own experience. that you can optimize, and some windows they can close prematurely. So the memories you create now will just compound in value over time, and they'll give you joy for years to come. And some of those memories you can never get back. So my daughter, for example, will only be little. for such a short time before she's grown and pursue her own life. But you will only get those dividends of life. if you actually live them. Instead of constantly deferring to someday and that someday might never come.

So start planning experiences like they were investments, a long dinner. with friends, maybe some quiet mornings with your family, or that trip. that you always want to go on. because those moments they pay emotional dividends for life. And looking back, these three books, they gave me incredible ideas that changed. not just how I work, but how I see life itself in those three key chapters of my life. And before you go, I love to hear about a book or books that changed your life.

And let me know in the comments. Or maybe you read these books and you have your own stories to tell me. Please do share them here for the others in the community. And if you enjoy videos like these. you haven't yet subscribed, make sure to click subscribe below. Also, turn on notifications. so you can make sure to see them in your upcoming videos going forward. And I'm grateful to have you here sharing your time with me. And I believe in the power of ideas, and one idea at the right moment can change everything. So see the next video.